Jodie answered the door; it was Rob.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY? I'VE BEEN ALONE AND BLEEDING LIKE THE WITCHES' CRACKED HEART OF STOOOOONE" Jodie growled.
Rob headbutted the door into splinters, splitting his skull wide open to reveal a metal brain. Blood seeped from his eyes like tears.
"I WAS RUNNING FROM DEATH AS THE DARK LORD WAS BOILED IN THE ROTTING SUN." Rob yelled into Jodie's face. he pulled a knife from his cloak and slid it across her belly. Blood gushed from her wound.
"DID THE BLOOD RED MOON SHINE DOWN ON YOUR HORRID PASSAGE?" Jodie gargled around a mouthful of maggots.
"IT DID INDEED MY FEARFUL VOYAGE WAS A LITANY OF TORRID SUCCESSES." Rob coughed up bile as he spoke.
Tapeworms began plopping out of Jodie's open torso.
"WHAT WAS RETRIEVED FROM THE GOBLIN'S CASKET AS THE CATTLE WERE SLAUGHTERED?" Jodie inquired.
"I GOT MILK."
"FUCKING METAL."
They kiss
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
In The Valley - 18 PART TWO (read part one FIRST)(duh, right? right...)
Jodie answered the door; it was Rob.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Jodie was holding a white rag that had two safety pins attached.
Rob rushed into the door with his hands up by his face, they were covered in a mixture of shining red and dirt. He found the bathroom and slammed the door shut. The sink blasted.
Jodie didn't look surprised, "Wash your hands well. The last thing I need is blood everywhere."
A loud scream came out of the bedroom.
"Oh my GOD! I'm coming already!"
Jodie stomped down the hall.
-------
(Back in The Valley. Three days ago.)
-------
"Yeah, we can go now."
Jodie grabbed a kiss from Rob before they walked, crouching, through the woods surrounding the cabin. If this were a war, then I would tell you that they were flanking the house. Because, well, they were.
The sun was almost gone from the horizon. A gray mist hung in the atmosphere and the light was almost completely gone from the valley. There was a light on in the cabin. Only one. The rest of the windows were black.
Rob led the way. They walked slow, but not too slow, to the back door of the cabin. It was a screen door (because this was a modern cabin). The glass behind the screen was gone, the only thing keeping them out of the house was a thin sheet with holes. Sounds so simple, but it was nerve wrecking.
"We don't have to do this." Rob said in a whisper. He put his hand on Jodie's shoulder.
"I know. But you know how badly I want this. And besides, you owe me."
"Yes I do."
Jodie walked forward, upright now, and slid the screen aside as if she lived there. Rob waited in the yard and saw her disappear into the dark home.
A crash.
A yell.
Another crash.
Then Jodie burst outside, sprinting, with a small bundle in her arms, held close to her face over her shoulder.
Running up hill is exhausting. But with that kind of adrenaline, the time flies.
-------
(back at their home, three days later.)
Rob was falling asleep on the gun stock of a hunting rifle in the window.
Jodie woke him when she walked into the room.
"Anything" She asked.
Rob blinked and stretched his face. "No, no. Nothing for hours."
"Ok, well I made macaroni if you want some. That damn baby wouldn't shut up until I fed it something.
"Alright I-" Rob was started by a red hoody moving through the trees. "There he is." His face settled on the gun and he let of three shots. The figure fell. Then there was another man in a red hoody coming from the left out of the woods. Two more shots from the rifle. Two men dead on the ground.
There was a wiz and soft thump as a bullet entered the home and planted itself in the wall behind Rob and Jodie.
"Dammit, I have to got out there." Said Rob. "They've got a sniper int he hill and I can't find him from this angle."
They rushed to the back door of their home. Rob opened the door.
"Becareful. Don't let them take my baby."
"I won't Jode. You know I never lose."
"I know."
They Kiss.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Jodie was holding a white rag that had two safety pins attached.
Rob rushed into the door with his hands up by his face, they were covered in a mixture of shining red and dirt. He found the bathroom and slammed the door shut. The sink blasted.
Jodie didn't look surprised, "Wash your hands well. The last thing I need is blood everywhere."
A loud scream came out of the bedroom.
"Oh my GOD! I'm coming already!"
Jodie stomped down the hall.
-------
(Back in The Valley. Three days ago.)
-------
"Yeah, we can go now."
Jodie grabbed a kiss from Rob before they walked, crouching, through the woods surrounding the cabin. If this were a war, then I would tell you that they were flanking the house. Because, well, they were.
The sun was almost gone from the horizon. A gray mist hung in the atmosphere and the light was almost completely gone from the valley. There was a light on in the cabin. Only one. The rest of the windows were black.
Rob led the way. They walked slow, but not too slow, to the back door of the cabin. It was a screen door (because this was a modern cabin). The glass behind the screen was gone, the only thing keeping them out of the house was a thin sheet with holes. Sounds so simple, but it was nerve wrecking.
"We don't have to do this." Rob said in a whisper. He put his hand on Jodie's shoulder.
"I know. But you know how badly I want this. And besides, you owe me."
"Yes I do."
Jodie walked forward, upright now, and slid the screen aside as if she lived there. Rob waited in the yard and saw her disappear into the dark home.
A crash.
A yell.
Another crash.
Then Jodie burst outside, sprinting, with a small bundle in her arms, held close to her face over her shoulder.
Running up hill is exhausting. But with that kind of adrenaline, the time flies.
-------
(back at their home, three days later.)
Rob was falling asleep on the gun stock of a hunting rifle in the window.
Jodie woke him when she walked into the room.
"Anything" She asked.
Rob blinked and stretched his face. "No, no. Nothing for hours."
"Ok, well I made macaroni if you want some. That damn baby wouldn't shut up until I fed it something.
"Alright I-" Rob was started by a red hoody moving through the trees. "There he is." His face settled on the gun and he let of three shots. The figure fell. Then there was another man in a red hoody coming from the left out of the woods. Two more shots from the rifle. Two men dead on the ground.
There was a wiz and soft thump as a bullet entered the home and planted itself in the wall behind Rob and Jodie.
"Dammit, I have to got out there." Said Rob. "They've got a sniper int he hill and I can't find him from this angle."
They rushed to the back door of their home. Rob opened the door.
"Becareful. Don't let them take my baby."
"I won't Jode. You know I never lose."
"I know."
They Kiss.
In The Valley - 18 - PART ONE
Jodie answered the door; it was Rob.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Rob could see that she wasn't kidding.
"Ha! Of course I'm kidding! Get inside."
Rob thought, 'That was close'. (But why...)
"Baby you know you're my world. I couldn't be angry with you!" Jodie smiled large.
Rob chuckled nervously, shifting his eyes. Jodie led him into the family room, where the lights were low and the television was showing and infomercial.
"What do you want to do, watch tv? I made your favorite snack; peanut butter pretzels" She held the tray up like a waitress.
Rob loved peanut butter pretzels.
"Is there something wrong?" Her shoulders slouched and she almost frowned.
Rob was sweating bullets. He took a peanut butter pretzel and sat down on the couch, staring at the tv, not eating his pretzel.
"So that's how it's going to be, is it?"
There was a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of Rob. He picked it up and took a sip because his mouth had been dry.
"Jodie, there's something that I have to tell you.. or rather, show you."
His speaking caught her by surprise. "yes..?"
Rob got up, grabber her wrist, and led her towards the door.
"Just c'mon."
Out the front door.
Down the path.
Out the gate.
Up the Hill.
Over the hill.
Down into the valley.
In the Valley.
Behind a tree.
Rob pulled a tree branch back that had guarded their view. In the distance there was a house visible. A cabin, really.
"We have neighbors." Rob said, quiet and looming.
"I knew that this day would come." Jodie's eyes lit up with tears and her red lips curved up into a smile. "Thank the gods!"
"And I think they have what we want."
Jodie kept on mumbling about the gods and her thanks. Then she spoke more definitely.
"Well then...Can we check?"
"Yeah, we can go now."
They kiss.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Rob could see that she wasn't kidding.
"Ha! Of course I'm kidding! Get inside."
Rob thought, 'That was close'. (But why...)
"Baby you know you're my world. I couldn't be angry with you!" Jodie smiled large.
Rob chuckled nervously, shifting his eyes. Jodie led him into the family room, where the lights were low and the television was showing and infomercial.
"What do you want to do, watch tv? I made your favorite snack; peanut butter pretzels" She held the tray up like a waitress.
Rob loved peanut butter pretzels.
"Is there something wrong?" Her shoulders slouched and she almost frowned.
Rob was sweating bullets. He took a peanut butter pretzel and sat down on the couch, staring at the tv, not eating his pretzel.
"So that's how it's going to be, is it?"
There was a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of Rob. He picked it up and took a sip because his mouth had been dry.
"Jodie, there's something that I have to tell you.. or rather, show you."
His speaking caught her by surprise. "yes..?"
Rob got up, grabber her wrist, and led her towards the door.
"Just c'mon."
Out the front door.
Down the path.
Out the gate.
Up the Hill.
Over the hill.
Down into the valley.
In the Valley.
Behind a tree.
Rob pulled a tree branch back that had guarded their view. In the distance there was a house visible. A cabin, really.
"We have neighbors." Rob said, quiet and looming.
"I knew that this day would come." Jodie's eyes lit up with tears and her red lips curved up into a smile. "Thank the gods!"
"And I think they have what we want."
Jodie kept on mumbling about the gods and her thanks. Then she spoke more definitely.
"Well then...Can we check?"
"Yeah, we can go now."
They kiss.
Friday, June 27, 2008
In The Valley 17
Jodie answered the door; it was Rob.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Rob's macabre expression caused her to cease her tirade and carefully inspect her man. He was pale, and his lips were peeled back into a grimace. His pupils were shrunk into pinholes. Jodie grabbed his hand: it was clammy, but still warm. Rob stepped inside.
"Let me fix you a sandwich." Jodie directed Rob to the couch, "When did this start up again?"
Rob held up four fingers excluding his thumb, who felt left out and didn't talk to his fellow fingers for a week. This was okay because the thumb always got to play video games and the other digits were sick and tired of hearing about it.
The thumb learned his lesson about humility, and soon the entire hand was cooperating and laughing and getting along grandly. They forgot completely about all the arguments of the past, and were better because of it.
The thumb turned to the index finger; his favorite finger. So slender, so purposeful. He sighed.
They kiss.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Rob's macabre expression caused her to cease her tirade and carefully inspect her man. He was pale, and his lips were peeled back into a grimace. His pupils were shrunk into pinholes. Jodie grabbed his hand: it was clammy, but still warm. Rob stepped inside.
"Let me fix you a sandwich." Jodie directed Rob to the couch, "When did this start up again?"
Rob held up four fingers excluding his thumb, who felt left out and didn't talk to his fellow fingers for a week. This was okay because the thumb always got to play video games and the other digits were sick and tired of hearing about it.
The thumb learned his lesson about humility, and soon the entire hand was cooperating and laughing and getting along grandly. They forgot completely about all the arguments of the past, and were better because of it.
The thumb turned to the index finger; his favorite finger. So slender, so purposeful. He sighed.
They kiss.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
In The Valley XVI
Jodie answered the door; it was Rob.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Rob apologized and stepped inside, taking off his hat and placing it on the hat rack next to the door.
He handed her a flower. It was very nice smelling. Jodie sniffed it, and smiled at Rob.
She beckoned him into the kitchen, where she had prepared their dinner; meatloaf and green bean casserole. She poured him a glass of lemonade.
Rob sat down at the table and began eating. He drank a bit of lemonade to wash down a bite of meatloaf.
The meal passed silently, and they cleaned off the table together. Later, in the living room, Jodie and Rob sat on their couch together and read some books.
Jodie looked at Rob, and noticed that he had reddened a little bit. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye.
"I pooped." He said.
They kiss.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Rob apologized and stepped inside, taking off his hat and placing it on the hat rack next to the door.
He handed her a flower. It was very nice smelling. Jodie sniffed it, and smiled at Rob.
She beckoned him into the kitchen, where she had prepared their dinner; meatloaf and green bean casserole. She poured him a glass of lemonade.
Rob sat down at the table and began eating. He drank a bit of lemonade to wash down a bite of meatloaf.
The meal passed silently, and they cleaned off the table together. Later, in the living room, Jodie and Rob sat on their couch together and read some books.
Jodie looked at Rob, and noticed that he had reddened a little bit. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye.
"I pooped." He said.
They kiss.
In The Valley - XV
Jodie answered the door; it was Rob.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
What Jodie didn't realize was that Rob had had a very long day himself, and wasn't about to take any crap.
So he Bitch slapped her, because she was being a bitch.
Jodie fell to the floor and held her face where he had bitch slapped her.
"Now say you're sorry." He commanded.
She just lay on the floor crying and looking at him out the corner of her eyes.
"Say you're fucking sorry!"
"Get the hell out of here Rob!"
Rob walked over, picked her up by the shoulders, and placed her up against the wall. Rob had been working out and this was easy.
"I won't ask again."
"Rob."
"WHAT."
She grabbed his forearm.
"All this forcefulness, it's..it's really turning me on."
Rob paused, this was unexpected. "really?"
"Yes... take me!"
"..uh.." his voice cracked."Ok." Rob was very embarresed about his sexuality, and they had never had sex. You see, Jodie had always said that she wanted to 'save it for marriage'. They had fooled around and all, but never had they gone the full mile. Rob was very nervous but of course he was already hard a tree.
"Come on! Take me now! I want you inside of me!"
Rob grabbed her neck with his left hand and wrapped his other arm around her lower back. His mouth was dry.
They kiss.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
What Jodie didn't realize was that Rob had had a very long day himself, and wasn't about to take any crap.
So he Bitch slapped her, because she was being a bitch.
Jodie fell to the floor and held her face where he had bitch slapped her.
"Now say you're sorry." He commanded.
She just lay on the floor crying and looking at him out the corner of her eyes.
"Say you're fucking sorry!"
"Get the hell out of here Rob!"
Rob walked over, picked her up by the shoulders, and placed her up against the wall. Rob had been working out and this was easy.
"I won't ask again."
"Rob."
"WHAT."
She grabbed his forearm.
"All this forcefulness, it's..it's really turning me on."
Rob paused, this was unexpected. "really?"
"Yes... take me!"
"..uh.." his voice cracked."Ok." Rob was very embarresed about his sexuality, and they had never had sex. You see, Jodie had always said that she wanted to 'save it for marriage'. They had fooled around and all, but never had they gone the full mile. Rob was very nervous but of course he was already hard a tree.
"Come on! Take me now! I want you inside of me!"
Rob grabbed her neck with his left hand and wrapped his other arm around her lower back. His mouth was dry.
They kiss.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
In The Valley XIV
Jodie answered the door; it was Rob.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Jodie looked at Rob; it was not Rob.
The man she did not know looked her squarely in the eye. She gasped; she did know this man.
"Hello, Jodie." The man looked insatiably irritated. His eyes rolled in their sockets as he pressed in closer to her. As she retreated from him, it allowed the man to enter the house and calmly close the door behind himself. Jodie backed against the wall, her hands clutching at the wall, her eyes wide with terror. The man turned towards her, his pristine smile glinting in the gathering dusk.
"Weren't you expect-t-t-t-ting me?" His crazed laughter echoed off the walls of the house, "I t-t-t-t-told you I was coming."
He began lurching towards her, and she saw that he had but one leg. His right was a prosthetic, and it shuddered across the floor as he dragged the foot sideways towards her.
"You shouldn't-t-t-t-t have run away, Jodie. My feelings were very hurt-t-t-t-t-t-t."
Jodie bolted for the door, but found the man's arm clasped around her waist. He drew her in, their faces almost touched.
"You know what-t-t-t-t's going t-t-t-t-to happen now, don't-t-t-t you." It was not a question, and Jodie couldn't have answered anyways. She was terrified speechless.
The man clicked his teeth together and closed his left eye, peering at her from his deeply sunken right. "I hope that-t-t-t-t you remember what-t-t-t happened to the last-t-t-t-t-t-t runaway." She did.
Suddenly, the man's arm went limp. Jodie buckled, heaving for air as the pressure from the crushing grasp lifted from her ribcage. She heard the man gasp, and the quick shuck of a knife piercing flesh. She looked up. It was Rob. He had the man in a chokehold, and she saw the gleam of a knife in the center of a rapidly growing red stain on the man's shirt. Rob let the man from his grasp, and clutched his shoulder, whirling him around. "I think you owe the lady an apology, my good man." The man looked perplexed. Rob leaned in.
They kiss.
"Where the hell have you been? I've been alone all day thanks to you."
Jodie looked at Rob; it was not Rob.
The man she did not know looked her squarely in the eye. She gasped; she did know this man.
"Hello, Jodie." The man looked insatiably irritated. His eyes rolled in their sockets as he pressed in closer to her. As she retreated from him, it allowed the man to enter the house and calmly close the door behind himself. Jodie backed against the wall, her hands clutching at the wall, her eyes wide with terror. The man turned towards her, his pristine smile glinting in the gathering dusk.
"Weren't you expect-t-t-t-ting me?" His crazed laughter echoed off the walls of the house, "I t-t-t-t-told you I was coming."
He began lurching towards her, and she saw that he had but one leg. His right was a prosthetic, and it shuddered across the floor as he dragged the foot sideways towards her.
"You shouldn't-t-t-t-t have run away, Jodie. My feelings were very hurt-t-t-t-t-t-t."
Jodie bolted for the door, but found the man's arm clasped around her waist. He drew her in, their faces almost touched.
"You know what-t-t-t-t's going t-t-t-t-to happen now, don't-t-t-t you." It was not a question, and Jodie couldn't have answered anyways. She was terrified speechless.
The man clicked his teeth together and closed his left eye, peering at her from his deeply sunken right. "I hope that-t-t-t-t you remember what-t-t-t happened to the last-t-t-t-t-t-t runaway." She did.
Suddenly, the man's arm went limp. Jodie buckled, heaving for air as the pressure from the crushing grasp lifted from her ribcage. She heard the man gasp, and the quick shuck of a knife piercing flesh. She looked up. It was Rob. He had the man in a chokehold, and she saw the gleam of a knife in the center of a rapidly growing red stain on the man's shirt. Rob let the man from his grasp, and clutched his shoulder, whirling him around. "I think you owe the lady an apology, my good man." The man looked perplexed. Rob leaned in.
They kiss.
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